The Lake City Lake Girls Teach Gym

Those who can't do, teach, and those who can't teach, teach gym.

Sometimes in winter you want to stick your head in the oven just to get warm. And maybe die, too. Along with dry skin, frost bite and gray skies, winter also comes with a limit of sartorial choices. We're not sure if we're in a position to guide you, but no one else is stepping up to show you how it should be done (or how it shouldn't be . . . ). Class is in session, so it doesn't matter if you have your period: you still have to play. To the courts!

Lesson One: Just because you wear AA doesn't mean that you have to look like an asshole.

Jersey (the fabric, not the state) is nice for winter. It's breathable and easy to layer, it comes in many colors, and you can easily wear long underwear with it (yay for stretch!). Unfortunately, one of the largest suppliers of this miracle fabric is American Apparel. Here, I demonstrate (ideally) that just because you buy an item or two at AA, you don't have to look like one of Dov Charney's personal prostitutes.

dress: aa
leggings: aa
jacket: target
boots: frye
necklace: thrift
pose: icecapades

Lesson Two: Embrace the fat layer winter gave you.
We all grow a couple extra chins during the cold months. Instead of being an annoying whiner who complains to everyone with ears, saying "God, I have to go to the gym. I'm so fat!" why don't you just embrace the extra? Look at the added pounds as a reason to love yourself more (now that there's more of you to love!). But even though you might look like you're stuffing a few acorns in your cheeks doesn't mean you have to dress like it. Find shapes that compliment your body type!

tee: thrifted
vest: anthro
skirt: old navy
leggings: target

Lesson Three: Layer with different textures
One way to add flair to a weighted down wardrobe is to wear different textures. It's even better if you wear various silhouettes from different eras and sexes (winter is perfect for a little androgyny), always keeping in mind the age-old mantra that less is more

blouse: old navy (i know, right?!)
vest: vintage
jeans: joe's
loafers: thrift
tam: marc by marc jacobs (only 17 dollars, yall)

Lesson Four: Be a weirdo.
Having to wear a coat often makes one question the point of looking nice. Why dress up when you'll be covered by a bulky coat? Think of a bulky coat as an opportunity--to be weird. Under the cover of a coat, you can wear things you would never consider in summer. Look at this as an opportunity to experiment: with menswear, bright colors and funky pleated pants.

purple sweater: limited via marshall's
mustard blouse: bcbg
pin: vintage
pants: thrifted

Lesson Five: K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Stupid).
There are enough things about winter to make us uncomfortable. Why add you wardrobe to that list? Wear longer shirts (preferably in a color that compliments pale skin) so that they don't ride up and make your back cold. It's also nice to do this in a breathable fabric because, believe it or not, you can sweat in the winter. Adding a simple pair of straight-legged pants and a nice pair of boots (f.y.i., Fryes have NO traction on ice) makes for a comfortable, yet polished look.

shirt: target
jeans: levi's
vest: thrift
boots: frye
earrings: uo
pose: sexytown

Lesson Six: Be soft (and warm!)
Sometimes winter is beautiful, right? Like when the snow falls in bits instead of blizzards and the branches have white coats. I'm trying to write this with a straight face but then I look at the photo below. Maddie described it as: "You look like you're in Narnia! Not that that's a bad thing." Well anyway, I feel soft, draped in boiled wool and muted colors. So try it out, bitches, and get off my lumps.

sweater: anthro
blouse: anthro
skirt: anthro
guess who shops too much at anthro: me

The bell doesn't dismiss you! WE DO! Alright... Go ahead.